Funny that when I need to hear something, God puts it in writing. It never fails, I can go searching and searching through pages of the Bible and never find exactly what I'm looking for, but just by accident I will find what He wants me to see. Although this time it wasn't anything in my Bible, but it came from a devotional I did about three months ago.
"Our life experiences - good and bad - also play a big part in shaping us into who we are. In a strange way, our painful experiences can end up being a blessing - if we let them" and "If we let it, pain can help us move closer to God. In addition, it gives us a new perspective of what's truly important in life."
That is really what I needed to hear tonight. Also another quote that helps me right now is:
"Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."
These things help me a lot right now. I knew any of my life experiences would help shape who I am, but it's always an eye opener to read it and be reminded. Knowing that God can take a painful or bad experience and turn it into a blessing, if we allow Him, is comforting. Everyone makes mistakes, but knowing that God can take my mistakes and turn them into blessings and things I will learn from is more than enough for me.
When I pray or read my Bible, unless it's spur of the moment, I try to write down my conversations with God and what I've read during my Bible reading. Something I wrote down back in September was 1 Timothy 1:5, which says: "The goal of this command is love, which comes from a pure heart and a sincere faith." That love should be extended to all, but it starts with a love for God. And not just a "Hey, I love You, God" and then a continuance of whatever I was planning on doing that day. My love for God needs to grow. He loves me more than I can fathom (love that word!) and as I read once in my devo book: "What you are is God's gift to you, what you do with yourself is your gift to God." (an old Danish proverb) Sometimes it's good to be reminded of things you already know. A friend reminded me tonight that everything I do in life should be glorifying to God. My goal this semester is to get closer to God. I realized (more) over break that my life without God is meaningless. Nothing in life is worthy of anything unless God is in it, and then He is still the most worthy of all I can give. Unless He is at the front of my thoughts and ever present in every aspect of my life, I will not grow to be the Godly young woman He has created me to be. 1 Corinthians 2:9 says: "However, as it is written: 'No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him.'" Love is what I am going to give to God. Love is what I am going to feel, live, breathe for God.
Tonight has been a real eye opener of God's love and grace. Though today has had its ups and downs, overall God has blessed me tremendously and opened my eyes to see that He is in control and knows exactly what He is doing, so I need to step back and let Him do the planning of my life instead of me thinking I know what is best for me. I know that whatever I have planned, it is nothing compared to what God has planned for me. He will mold me and shape my life into His perfect will if I let Him, and I'm focused on letting that happen.
As Jeremiah 29:11 says: "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" I'm trusting God. I'm handing everything over to Him and believing that He knows better than I (which is sometimes hard to have faith in, because as He knows, I can be a stubborn little girl) but it is very true. God will take me where I need to go in life and develop friendships and different kinds of relationships in my life that He wants in it. I just need to love Him, follow Him, and strengthen my relationship with Him. Starting now, I hand over my life to my Creator, and trust in Him to lead me on the path He has created for me.
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