Creative Writing Assignment

So in Honors Seminar we had to write a poem or something about Kansas. I wrote a sonnet! :) It's been a while since I've really sat down and concentrated on writing anything that I was proud of, and I'm not saying this one is my favorite, because it isn't, but I'm pretty proud of what I put together for my assignment.

Kansas sky, open and blue

Grass blowing softly in the wind

Clouds billowing in the heavens

Beginning seems to reach its end

Flat land spreads itself forever

Reaching its hands across my heart

Nature appeals to me like no other

It seems we will never be apart

Love for this place came over me

Swiftly captured me piece by piece

Swept me into the beauty of farming

Working God's land was a sweet release

Kansas sky, open and blue

Forever my respect is due

Oh Life, You Sure Do Make Me Think

I cannot begin to tell you how glad I am that I came to Emporia. I've made the best friends a girl could ask for, and even though I changed my major from Elementary Education to Undecided, I can't imagine being anywhere else at this point in my life. Yes, I'm about 3 hours away from home, but I'm finally OUT ON MY OWN. The thought of being independent used to scare the bejeebers out of me. But now that I'm actually here, right now, it's as if I was made for this. God prepares you whether you feel prepared or not.

I can't imagine NOT being here and NOT having the friends I have now. These girls (and a few guys) are honestly the best friends I could ever hope to have, and imagining my life without them is pretty weird. It's not every day you go venturing into the world on your own, far from home, and meet people who change your life forever. College is all about learning who you are, even if you thought you already knew.

Anyway, just wanted to post a short little blog about how much I'm loving it up here. This is where I belong. These friends are ones that I want in my life for the rest of my life.

Removed

I wrote this a couple years ago.

Removed

There’s this place between the window and the door,

Against the wall and sitting on the floor.

It’s where she goes when she needs some time.

She worked so hard; it was such a tall climb.

She tried and tried and gave it her all,

But never even imagined this fall.

But sometimes things aren’t what they seem.

They twisted and turned into the extreme.

And as the tears spill down her cheek,

She feels overbearingly, overwhelmingly weak.

All she had tried for and accomplished thus far

Had quietly diminished like a slow-fading star.

The earth had turned and the trees had cried.

Slowly but surely, everything died.

Devotion dissolved and her smile went away.

Things became paler day after day.

Words were whispered and hearts were failed.

Her complexion was softly, opaquely veiled.

The most beautiful soul could never compare.

She was torn in a struggle, caught in a snare.

She had delicately receded, gently withered.

Through her mind tormenting thoughts slithered.

Her heart became shriveled inside her body’s frame.

How could the result of her actions bring so much shame?

Her emotions were tender, fragile, and deep.

Her breathing became heavy as she began to weep.

Sobs erupted from the depths of her core.

Her sorrow made her achingly, gruesomely sore.

Her screams, her wails, and her painstaking cries

Choked up her throat and brought back the lies

Her eyes captured images and locked them up tight,

But tears blurred her vision; she knew wrong from right.

So why had she chosen to walk down this road?

Despair caused her regret in herself to explode.

It had been so desirable, she had felt so ready.

Eagerly they had jumped into this; it was rough, unsteady.

It wasn’t beautiful, it wasn’t honest, it wasn’t deserved or savored.

Her decision had been suddenly morally wavered,

But she had went ahead and carried through.

She hadn’t known what else to do.

Her purity had been torn and shaken,

Ripped from her life, brutally taken.

She could never change what she had lost.

She’d given part of herself away at such a cost.

Her future husband could not fully take her in.

He wouldn’t be the only one to touch her skin.

Her gift to her future husband is no more. 

She’s crumpled up in her place on the floor.

As she tries to cause this memory to fade to black,

She knows nothing with her future husband will be left out or held back.

Cease Existence

Beautiful, strong, pure
Like lace sprinkled on a white wedding dress
Like the way tears fall down and down when blessed
A soft touch of the fingertips, gently caressed

Hopeful, contagious happiness
Cottonball clouds skip across the sky
The heavens drip grace while angels cry
The sweetest hello choked out to a goodbye

Fragile breath of immortal life
Confide in me your enticing dreams
Dance across life's hesitant seams
Yet one mistake turns joy into screams

Heartbeat, locked inside your chest
Once determined to keep you alive
No longer cares if you're deprived
Try as you might, you won't survive

Emptiness, you're so lifeless
Worthless, useless, you're a mess
You thrive on artificial success
You're aimless; you'll never be the best

So give in, give up, give your life
Cave in and kiss your soul goodbye
Breathe in all these hideous lies
Feel one last struggle, a fluttering beat
Your heart dies
Death competes, defeats, deletes,
You

Picture of my Tattoo!

There you go :)

Devotional Time! :)

Last night I did a Bible Devotional. It honestly has been a while since I've last done one, so it felt good to spend some time with God and realize how beautiful He has made me. I spent some time on Psalm 139, which tells me how beautiful God created me to be and how He spent time making me unique and wonderful.

"I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well." -Psalm 139:14

How awesome, right? I am FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY made by the Creator of the universe. He took time out of His day to create me, every little thing about me, and that's amazing. He hand-selected every little detail about me.

"Your hands shaped me and made me." -Job 10:8

I love this little phrase that was in my devo book: "You were shaped by the God of the universe. The truth is, God shaped you in a unique way to serve Him. He has special things in mind for you."

Also, we should love the way God created us, because we are perfect in His sight. And as my devo book said, it's pretty hard to broadcast God's praises when we aren't happy with the way He created us.

There was an old Danish proverb in my devo book that caught my attention: "What you are is God's gift to you; what you do with yourself is your gift to God."
How true is that? We honor God with our bodies, our minds, actions, words, everything about us. We honor Him with who we are and what we do in life. Why not praise His name throughout our life to give back honor and glory to the One who created us in this world?

I loved this line from my devo book: "Stop comparing yourself. You are a one-of-a-kind masterpiece."
That's really uplifting. It's not every day that you are told that you're a masterpiece, and a unique one at that! Not one person in this world is exactly the same as you. God created you to be different for a reason. He made you the way you are because He knew what He was doing. He has a purpose for everyone in this life.

Which leads me on to the next verse I looked at: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11

That verse always makes me realize that no matter what is going on in my life, my God is truly in control and I never have to worry, because He takes care of me every day. He knows better than I do what is good for me and where my life will lead. I love that God planned my future before I even knew He existed, before I was even thought of in this world.

Anyway, I'd like to write out Psalm 139, because to me, that's like an eye-opener right now. It's so beautifully written (as are many of the Psalms) and I love to read it over and over again.

"O Lord, You have searched me and You know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise; You perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down; You are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue You know it completely, O Lord.
You hem me in - behind and before; You have laid Your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from Your Spirit? Where can I flee from Your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, You are there; if I make my bed in the depths, You are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there Your hand will guide me, Your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, 'Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,'
even the darkness will not be dark to You; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to You.
For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are Your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with You.
If only You would slay the wicked, O God! Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!
They speak of You with evil intent; Your adversaries misuse Your name.
Do I not hate those who hate You, O Lord, and abhor those who rise up against You?
I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies.
Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

Tattoo!

So for all of you who don't already know, I got a tattoo yesterday :)
A few of the girls went with me (I held all of their hands at least once lol) and I got it on the side of my foot. Before you ask, yes, it did hurt. Not as bad as I thought it would though! And definitely not bad enough that I won't get any more. I still want 1 more :P But it'll be a little bit before I get it.

Anyway, I got "no regrets" on the side of my foot, because I believe you shouldn't have any regrets in life. You should learn from your mistakes (because what else can you do?) and shouldn't regret anything, because at one point in your life, you were doing exactly what you wanted and it made you happy. Plus regrets will only slow you down in life. Learn from them and move on, and your life will be much better :)

Hello World.

So I haven't posted for a while and I'm sorry about that. College seriously knows how to keep a girl busy!

Anyway, just some updates:
-My cousin had her Sweet 16 birthday party over the weekend (she doesn't actually turn 16 until tomorrow, but, whatever lol). It was bittersweet, but more sweet if I do say so myself. I love her so much. She's such a great girl and she is growing up to be such an amazing Christian woman. I love everything about her, even her quirky personality (well of course, she gets that from me!). I'm hoping she can come up and visit me sometime and stay the weekend with me, I would absolutely love that.
-I have two homes. Really. Though my heart will always belong back in Southeast Kansas, it's really hard not to fall for Emporia. It's so amazing. It's a little-big town and I really do love everything about it. I know I said I wanted to go back to the surrounding towns where I'm from and teach there, but really, I'm thinking about just staying here! I'm so glad that God has blessed me with the adventure of being here for the next four years. He is so great.
-I'm super excited for this week. Tonight Amber (my roommate) and I are going to a Mary Kay something or other lol. Her sister is getting "inducted" so to speak, and there will be lots of freebie prizes (up to $500 worth!) so we are both pretty excited about that :) I'm also super stoked because tonight I'm placing my order for some makeup! (I know, I'm SUCH a girl lol)
-Thursday night will be super spectacular. My Honors Seminar class is having a cookout at one of our professor's pastures. It will be fantabulous. Not only are we going to kill some zombies (literally) but we also are going to roast some hot dogs and make some s'mores! It will be delicious! I'm bringing hot chocolate! And we're going to burn things, just for the fun of it, because as honor students, we are extremely awesome and qualified to burn whatever we want in a campfire.
-Friday I really have no plans, but I'm just excited about it anyway, because it's the start of my weekend! :)
-Saturday we play Pittsburg State up here, that will be fun because I have a lot of friends who go to Pitt and my aunt and uncle might possibly be coming up to visit me.
-Sunday I'm going SHOPPING! In Kansas City. With an extremely cool friend. Because we rock so that's what we do. I can't wait.


Well, there's an update on my life! College is going great :) If you haven't already noticed :P

xoxo!
nicole

Happiness.

Sometimes all you need is a small shopping spree with some of your girls to make you happy.

Not that I wasn't happy before we went to the mall, but seriously, friends are the best things in life besides God and family. I love my girls :)

Word to the Wise...

Don't lose your retainers for 3 months. Getting them back on hurts like no other.


Just some advice :)

Epitaph

I wrote this about a year ago in my English class.

I thought the sky would be gray
And overcast with thick clouds.
I assumed the rain would pour down continually
And drench my soul to the ground.
I figured my heart would drip my life
To the very core of the earth.
I just knew that I would be punished
For every wrongdoing I'd ever committed.
But I was mistaken.
The sky is a brilliant blue
With white cotton ball clouds.
The rain comes and goes as it pleases,
But it is a warm spring sprinkling of love.
My soul and my heart have never felt lighter.
My wrongdoings are forever forgotten.
My life plays before my eyes
As a slideshow of magnificent colors and memories.
I see the golden pony I had when I was younger.
I see the camping trip my father took me on when I was a teen.
Flashing before me now are the days when I fell in love;
The days that I spent with my husband and my children.
There are no bad memories in this slideshow of my long life,
And I realize that maybe, just maybe, this new home of mine
Is worth every tear that every person will ever cry for me.

Our Journey

 I wrote this about a year ago.

Our Journey

I must confess, the love was strong.
It captured your heart and mine.
But you know I felt that I didn’t belong.
This sweet love was too divine.

Though you were better than I myself,
The world grew to accept us.
The birds sang their songs of sweet surrender.
The wind’s lullaby caressed us.

The clouds changed shapes for us to see.
Leaves danced along the sidewalk.
Hand-in-hand we strolled along,
Took our time; didn’t think, didn’t talk.

Yours was mine and mine was yours.
Adventure was ours for the taking.
A simple kiss, a sweet touch from your lips,
And our love was in the making.

I cared for you more than I cared for myself,
Wanted your happiness more than my own.
But the world claimed its grip on your life,
And now I’m left here all alone.

Though “alone” is not the word I’d use
To describe how I feel today.
I still smell you, hear you, see you, dear,
In every thing, every place, every way.

You’re there in the way the trees sway their branches,
The way the dust kicks up in the breeze.
When a child laughs or cries or simply plays.
I just want one more day with you, please…

But I have to accept that you’re gone and move on.
I have to force my heart to let you go.
I still love you but our time has passed,
But I’ll never forget you, you know.

Extended Metaphor

I wrote this a year ago :)

American Literature is an Extended Metaphor

American literature is a rich, luscious orchard.

The authors are the laden trees.

The works are the delicious fruits,

Waiting for someone to come

Pluck them from their branches

And choose to admire them.

The books are the different varieties of fruits,

Waiting to be cut into and explored.

Some fruits are sweet.

Some are bitter.

Some are harsh and overripe.

Yet the taste of the fruit cannot be perceived

Until a bite has been taken.

The taste of a book cannot be determined

Lovely or disgraceful

Until one has opened it and let the words flow into the brain.

Judgment cannot be expressed

Until one has strolled through the orchard

And enjoyed the fruits of literature.

Memoir

I wrote this my Junior year of high school in English.


Something I Can't Deny

I meet lots of new people in my life. It's something I enjoy doing. I love my social life. I talk to people at school, I talk to people at work, I talk on my phone, I text on my phone, and the list goes on and on. I talk to people everywhere I go. Along with talking to people comes situations like developing great friendships, or just remaining mere acquaintances. I can tell whether I'm going to connect with someone and develop a friendship or not.
Life isn't always fair. Sometimes I want to be good friends with someone I've just met and it never works out. Sometimes I think I'll never be friends with someone, and within the next couple months, it's as if we've been friends our whole lives.
There are people in my life now that I'm very thankful for. I've developed such great friendships with them that I can't imagine us not being friends. Life just wouldn't be the same without them. With these amazing friendships, I've learned to trust these people. I really don't trust easily, but these people have never given me a reason not to trust them. So I've learned to trust these people wholeheartedly, with everything that I am and with everything that I have in me. But along with this trust comes the belief that these people will never hurt me, or let me down, or make mistakes. If I place someone on a pedestal, it is only a matter of time before he or she is destined to fall. I've learned that these people are the ones in my life who shouldn't ever hurt me. They shouldn't ever treat me wrong or say mean things or make me sad. These people have my trust and they shouldn't let me down. But I cannot deny that the people in life that I trust the most will eventually let me down. These are the people that I thought would never disappoint me. But absolutes won't get me anywhere in situations like these. I'm going to get hurt by these people. I'm going to get upset with them. They're going to make me sad and angry, and they're going to say mean things to me or treat me wrong. I love these people, but just like me, they are only human, and they will make mistakes. I cannot deny this. Yet I also cannot deny that when they knock me down, I will pick myself back up, and I will continue to love them and to live my life with them in it. I will forgive them and I will show them kindness, because they make mistakes just like I do. If I never forgive them, how can I expect them to ever forgive me? Yes, these people will surprise me, sometimes in unpleasant ways, but they put up with me, so shouldn't I also put up with them? These people are my friends, my family, my loves. I wouldn't choose to go a day without them, even if they are upsetting me. The negative days will pass, and the positive days will shine brighter than before. I can't deny that I love these people, till the very end of time.

You May "Call Me Ishmael"

This is something I wrote in English my junior year of high school.



Sleeping Beauty

-You may call me Aurora, Princess Aurora if you please. Or if it so befits you, I suppose you may call me Briar Rose, but Rose for short. At birth I was gifted with blessings of beauty and musical talents. I was raised to be lovable and obedient. Some people say I am naive and gullible, but I shake those notions off just like a tree shakes itself of its leaves during autumn. I have a voice filled with so much beauty that it shall surely break your heart and bring tears to your eyes when you hear my melodious tones leave my throat and flow into the air surrounding us. I sing everywhere I go. It's a part of who I am. I am made of beauty, charm, and romance, yet I'm still a little girl on the inside. I still laugh and dance and play in nature, and sing with the birds when I please. I'd like to say I'm a strong, level-headed girl, but I'm not. I'm carefree and curious, but I don't see anything wrong with that.
-I live with the most adorable little old women that you ever did see! Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather are just the best aunts ever. They're like mother hens to me, always watching out for me and wanting to protect me and keep me safe. I'll admit, sometimes they're a little scatter-brained, but I love them all just the same. Every day we sit around the front room and have tea. They make the best tea in all the surrounding kingdoms, though they'll deny it every time. They bicker with one another time and time again, but they mean well. It's sibling talk, really. They're only happy if I'm happy, and they want the best for me. They have a certain bounce and skip to their walk that makes me smile every time I see them. I couldn't ask for better guardians.
-I have one main dream in this little life of mine. I hold fast to the dream of true love. This is where some people say I'm naive, but so be it if that's what they think. I can't stop their thoughts. I believe I will one day find true love and live happily ever after, no matter what anyone else thinks. I live my life in a fairy tale, so I've heard. I suppose it's probably true.
-I've also heard other things. Rumors of sorts, I suppose. I've heard that on my sixteenth birthday I'll prick my finger on a spinning wheel and fall into a deep sleep, only to be awakened by true love's kiss. It sounds a little morbid, yet almost romantic in a messed up way. I'd never wish it upon myself though. I'd never wish it upon anyone, for that matter. My sixteenth birthday is supposed to be the day I claim my place as Princess Aurora in my father King Stefan's kingdom. I should have a fancy dress and a fancy cake and a ball held in my name. It shall be just wonderful. That is, if it happens.
-I worry sometimes that these rumors might be true, but I'm a carefree little spirit, so I put them behind me and skip through life with a joyous attitude. I suppose I'll find true love one way or another, whether it is love at first sight, or by awakening to his sweet kiss. My dream will come true one day, somehow, some way.


-You could call me Sleeping Beauty or Princess Aurora as well, but I'd prefer Nicole. Although I'm going to go out on a limb and say that we act pretty similar. I'm usually gentle and I'm a girl who likes to be dreamy, just like Sleeping Beauty. Both of us can be naive and very stubborn sometimes as well. Like Princess Aurora, I wear my emotions on my sleeve and sometimes risk putting my heart out there for another person to hold. I don't trust as easily as she does, but when I do find someone I can trust, I pour my complete and whole trust in them. This either opens me up for hurt or opens me up for happiness, or sometimes both. Both Sleeping Beauty and I love our social lives, though hers was mostly talking to animals, which I'll admit I sometimes do also. I stick with humans when it comes to singing, though. I don't believe in love at first sight like Sleeping Beauty, but I do have a strong dream to someday fall madly in love and live happily ever after with my "Prince Charming." Though I don't plan on pricking my finger on a spinning wheel and falling into a comatose sleep in order to do so. I do know that love won't be easy, but I'm willing to overcome hardships, just as Sleeping Beauty was willing to accept and overcome her hardship of falling asleep and being awakened with true love's kiss. After all, true love conquers all, hardships included.

Despondency

-Okay, so as you all know, I write things that just come to my mind from out of the blue, and most of the time they are NOT true stories. This is one of those things. It's realistic, yes, but not for me. I started writing and this is what I ended up with.

Enjoy :)



Tears cascade down my face. They tiptoe down my cheeks, leaving footprints from my eyes to my chin. Then they drip, letting loose of their watery grip on my face. They fall, down and down, until they crash onto the ground. And for one second, I close my eyes and suck in a breath. My world stops spinning; my sobs become quiet and life slows for a moment. But the pause is temporary, just like everything else in this life. Just like you. Just like the way you said you'd always be here for me. I need something to hold on to. I need something that won't let me down. But you're gone. You said you would make it. You said you would pull through. You said you'd be here to catch me when I was falling. But I'm falling now. Where are you? Where are your hands to brush away these tears? Where are your arms to hold me tight and pull me close? Where is the kiss upon my forehead and the soft lullaby you used to whisper before bedtime? Where is your booming laugh that used to bring me out of my room and onto your lap? Where are you? Did you think I'd be okay? Did you think I was old enough to take care of myself? Did you think I didn't need you anymore? This pain is all I feel. These tears consume me. Come back. Don't give up. You said I'd always be your little girl. I believed you. Why did you stop fighting? Where did you lose hope? I had enough strength in my heart for both of us, so what made you quit? Why did you choose to take your last breath?

But what do I know? I'm just a little girl with a grieving heart. I don't understand. I'll get over you. I've heard it all so many times that I've almost started believing it. One of these days will prove to be better than all the rest. One of these days I'll stop being angry and blaming you for leaving me alone in this world. One of these days I'll get up and move on.

But today, this day... I think I'll just spend it missing you, Dad.

Writing is very important to me. It's sort of my "escape," if you want to call it that. It's something I do in my free time when the mood suits me, and it's something I really enjoy a lot.

This is something I wrote back in March.

Grace Within Misery

Gently pull the curtains back

Let the sunshine warm your heart

Let it fall in streaks upon your face

Let it represent a fresh start

Wash the misery from your eyes

Believe that today will bring hope

Believe that your soul will be stronger now

Believe that your mind can cope

Take a walk outside and see this day

Remember what made you smile

Remember things that made you laugh

Remember that joy is worthwhile

Have faith in yourself once again

Don't give up on all your dreams

Don't take for granted your beautiful life

Don't fall apart at the seams

Notice that you are showered with love

By your family and your friends

By the affection of your beautiful God

By the way, His love never ends

Your beauty amazes every eye

Realize you are not alone

Receive this kiss from Heaven's lips

 Venture into the unknown